bilas design

Compassion Justice & The Christian Life

2009-11-07T23:03:00.000-08:00

8 weeks ago I started a new small (term) group at church focusing on "rethinking ministry to the poor". We read Robert Lupton's book: Compassion, Justice, & The Christian Life. Talk about challenging. If you've ever wondered how you can move beyond giving a mere "hand-out" and move into actually helping develop impoverished people and communities, you need to read this book. After living in New Guinea for almost a year, I came home with a raw desire to be part of sustainable change and development in impoverished places. I have been taking baby steps towards that desire. Starting this group was one of those baby steps, proving to be more of a leap. By its nature, a group provides synergy, networking, support, community, interest, involvement, new ideas, movement, and activism. What a great way to move forward. Bizo and I are so excited that God has provided such an opportunity (Thanks Sue Ferguson!) In 8 short weeks we have made new friends, finished reading an important book, attended a conference we didn't know existed until we started reading this book, gotten some temporary work for Bizo, hosted the 1st ever You Make It Matter(http://www.youmakeitmatter.com/) fair trade event, and opened ourselves up to new possibilities. God is good. Here is a link to the book- Check it out!
Amazon.com: Compassion, Justice and the Christian Life: Rethinking Ministry to the Poor (9780830743797): Robert D. Lupton: Books

CCC 20yr. celebration!

2009-09-11T10:05:00.000-07:00

September 6.2009. CCC celebrated 20 years of ministry on Rotary Hill in downtown Naperville. 7000 people and 140+ baptisms! It was a cool celebration! I had the unexpected privelege of baptizing my friend Marci! I got to know Marci through our dear friend Louise who is now living in Australia- we miss you! Marci and I have shared the joys and pains of motherhood, marriage, and family life over the last year. Marci has her masters in social work and she is an incredibly smart woman. She is super compassionate and understanding. She makes me laugh every time I am with her, which I love! She is real and authentic about who she is and who she is becoming. I respect and admire her a lot. I'm so thankful for her friendship! CONGRATS Marci! I am so proud of you! I can't wait to see how God continues to work in your life this year and the next and the next. He's got awesome plans for you and your family.

California Here She Comes!

2009-09-11T09:51:00.000-07:00

Jodi and I met for breakfast at Egg Harbor for our last moments together before she and Dan left for Pasadena. This is our last picture together until I see her again. I wanted to savor the moment... I have a terrible memory and I am also not good at remembering events according to when they happened in time. It's hard for me to place memories in the right place on the timeline of my life...So, one of my new tricks is to make sure I take a picture of the important moments, especially when one thing is ending and another thing is beginning. So, this picture marks the end of one season and the beginning of another:
Jodi had been home since Thanksgiving of 08, working at Glen Ellyn Bible Church. She and Dan just got married on July 18.2009. Jodi was accepted earlier this spring to Fuller Theological Seminary to pursue her Master's degree in Counseling. (Marriage and family therapy) They packed up their Pods and drove cross country earlier this week to their new home! I can't believe my baby sister is married, living in California, and going to grad school. WOW! Congrats Jodi, on all your awesome accomplishments! I am SO PROUD of you! I love you!

Logan Glen Sogavo

2009-06-09T12:08:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the big bad world Logan Glen Sogavo!

Born June 3.2009 @ 2:49am

9lbs 1oz. 20 1/4 inches

I just spent an hour typing up Logan's birth story in between feedings and naps and the whole thing was lost as our internet went down...lovely. I don't have the energy to re-type it right now...another day.

Logan, we're SO thankful for you. We're sooo GLAD you are here and that you are home with us, healthy... You are awesome little guy! I am in love with you and daddy and big bro alex are too!

Weekend Bliss

2009-05-31T04:26:00.000-07:00

Bizo and I enjoyed a fabulous weekend away to Long Grove, IL... far enough away to feel like we were on vacation and close enough to play it safe in case I went into labor. This was Memorial Day weekend- Mom & Dad took Alex for us and they had a grand time spoiling him. We used 2 free hotel nights from Bizo's old job with Turbochef, so that was awesome! We ate some fun yummy meals, walked around Long Grove all day, saw an IMAX movie, slept in & enjoyed the quiet stress free moments of pretending like we didn't have children :). Actually, we spent half the time talking about what a great kid Alex is and distracting each other from missing him too much! It was a much needed and much enjoyed few days- Thank you God for peace and quiet and rest and relaxation before our lives change again forever with 2kids instead of just1! Here are some pictures from the wknd.

40 weeks pregnant

2009-05-31T03:11:00.000-07:00

Bizo & Alex proudly showing off their accomplishment of stroller assembly- Yeah BOB!

Bizo & I in Long Grove for our pre-baby weekend getaway - 39 weeks pregnant

Good morning friends and family. It is 5:09am and I am in the middle of a nice contraction. Yep, they are still pretty much just "nice" contractions...not serious, not too painful, just hanging out...popping up every 15 minutes or so. Sweet. I was awakened at 3:56am with a contraction and couldn't really get back to sleep since. I thought I might as well document the delight of being 40 wks pregnant, not knowing when the end will appear.

This week has been one roller coaster ride of a week. Shall I recount? perhaps you aren't interested in all the details, but I am, so I'll write them here to be sure I retain the memory of it. Clearly once the little babe actually does arrive, all frustration of waiting will swiftly escape me and I'll be saying, "what was I so worried about last week? He was breech right or did i make that up?" So here goes:

Monday May 18th - Midwife appointment confirms 1cm dilated, head down, strong heartbeat

Tuesday May 26th - Midwife appointment confirms 2cm dilated, head is no longer down...baby is in the "transverse lie" position. I cry. We are presented with our options very sensitively and lovingly by my midwife, whom I love. We can wait, we can schedule a c-section now, we can try an external version (turning the baby from the outside)... We choose to wait w/no intervention.

I cry for the remainder of the day. I'm already fighting a cold and with the crying on top of it, find myself crying, hyperventilating and unable to breathe through the completely stuffed nose. Husband has to come and rescue me, reminding me it's going to be ok, baby is going to turn, we've gotta get through this.... I pull myself together and waste a few hours looking at fun blogs online to keep myself distracted. Most of this day I have spent on the floor on all fours rocking back n forth, laying upside down on an ironing board, doing handstands in the pool at the Y, massaging my belly in a circular motion, walking, and playing music down near my pelvic bone- all in the name of turning this transverse lie baby. I am terrifed of a C-section...AND just really want to deliver naturally, as I did with Alex.

Wednesday May 27th-I continue spending every waking moment obsessed with turning the baby and consumed with "when is this baby coming?" Apparently I started my "descent" much sooner than I should have...seeing as I'm now a day overdue with no signs of any change! What was I thinking? Why did I think I was going to be superwoman and have this baby on time and/or early at that?! Alex was a little early and that definitely played a role....I've determined that the other factor is the numerous unwanted comments from strangers and some not strangers such as: "Are you sure there aren't 2 in there?" "You're still here?! Shouldn't you have a baby by now?" "Wow! You're huge! How many are ya havin?" "

This entire day I am feeling my belly, trying to monitor if there are any changes in his position...I felt his head & spine & butt in the clearly transverse position the day before and was so hopeful that he would move... Sure enough, by that afternoon, the top and sides of my belly became mush and stayed that way....he had clearly moved out of that transverse position...to which direction, I wasn't sure, but I knew he had moved. By the way, I ought to mention that on Tuesday, the day of many tears, I enlisted the prayers of everyone I could think of including 4 church prayer request chains, a radio station, and all friends & family. It was the only way to go- to enlist the saints! I spent that evening walking circles in our small basement abode and doing squats to ensure that baby would stay head down and hopefully encourage his little head to engage in my pelvis. I walked circles around Bizo & Alex while they put together our brand new Bob Duallie Revolution Mesa Orange Double Stroller... We sat together holding hands on the floor and did a family prayer time, thanking God for the awesome awesome gift of this stroller that we could not have purchased without the help of family & friends... what a gift. Alex actually put one whole wheel on by himself- Bizo was so proud and videoed the exciting moment. Daddy and Son working on projects together- I love it!

Thursday May 28th- Midwife appointment @ 9:30am... God is so good- he has turned! I just knew it...I had a feeling, and sure enough he was back to head down, right where he's supposed to be! I can't tell you how wonderful it felt to hear those words- I was not a c-section shoein afterall...there was still hope of the natural birth I had imagined all these months! The midwife sends us home to continue waiting... We had considered an induction, but the head was still not locked into the pelvis at this point, leaving room for him to move even still....SO, we left to wait! Bizo and I had breakfast at Colonial and then I dropped him off to work on the farm. Headed to my mom's house where my mom and I spent the day recording contraction times and walking to try and get labor going. Contractions were definitely increasing in intensity & pain....earlier that day they were every half hour, then every 15 minutes, and then every 10...we thought we might be getting close. Unfortunately they slowed down at dinner time and never really picked back up again with any kind of vengeance.... Home we went, slept I did, awoken by real labor i was not.

Friday May 29th - Afraid to be alone for too long, Bizo spent the morning with alex and I in case this labor thing decided to materialize...HA! We went to the farm and took a long ride on the Gator out into the "back 40"...I had some real good strong painful contractions out there, bumping along on the dirt path :). It reminded me of my journey to kudjip on the beloved unpaved, pothole filled PNG highway 9months prego with Alex- how did I ever endure 3 hours of that? Holy Cow...apparently we adapt to our environment as we must! I got to pee in the wilderness and pretend like I was going to give birth in a 3rd world country! We finished up our gator ride, got some lunch and my energy level crashed...Bizo drove us home and put Alex down for his nap (which he did not take) while I chilled out. My uncle Dave & the kids came over to entertain Alex for me that afternoon while I took a much needed nap... slept for an hour & a half and woke up to another good strong contraction... they were still coming every 15 minutes and seemed to get more intense- "Is this it?" I call Bizo and say, "I think we should call the midwife"... he is on his way home, gassing up the car. I call my mom and I tell everyone that I think this might be it. We eat pizza for dinner... I go for a walk to make sure this is real and contractions continue but the intensity declines... by 8 or so I am convinced this is yet another false alarm and we should wait... Bizo tries to distract me with card games & movies, but I'm too frustrated to engage in the distraction. Behold, I'm right...We go to bed that night by 11ish and awake the next morning to find I am still here and so is my in utero baby. I actually woke up several times to contractions, but again, nothing significant to shout about.

Saturday May 30th- Good morning baby #2...Why are you still in my belly? It's your due date today! Come on out!!! I have good strong contractions through the morning.... I am irritable & frustrated. I make a yummy breakfast full of eggs, honey toast, cinnamon rolls, fruit and juice...we enjoy the lovely breakfast together despite my crabbiness. We play outside for a bit (translation: bizo plays ball w alex in the driveway while I sit & mope on a chair brooding through contractions), alex goes down for his nap after lunch and Bizo heads to the farm to work. I sit on the couch finding the tv to be uninspiring and finally decide to blowdry my hair straight and clean out my desk... This has been the most productive week of my life! We drive to Palatine in the evening to go to my sweet cousin Britta's high school graduation party. Everyone is surprised to see me. I really didn't want to deal with all the comments- especially from strangers...but the encouragement & love from my family proved to outrule the stranger comments...I was glad we went. A good reminder that I have lots of people who love me and care about me and are praying for this baby to come out soona and to be healthy! My energy dives again and I promptly fall asleep on the way home at 8:30pm. I head straight to bed when we arrive home at 9:30. Bizo puts Alex down, brings me my usual glass of water and massages my very tired and aching back. I'm out like a light. I wake up this morning at 3:56am w/ a contraction. I lay back down but can't go back to sleep... Contractions continue every 15-20 minutes or so w varying intensity. I get up and decide to fart around on the internet. I look up mucous plug and 40 wks pregnant and find pictures, blog posts and other people's brooding emotions to be helpful and consoling. I decide I ought to blog about my own exciting week- hoping it will help me keep memory and help someone else stay distracted in their own final hour! It's now 6:10 am and I'm getting sleepy again... I wonder if I'm going to have a June baby? the wait continues at 40 wks 1 day...

Happy 2nd Birthday Alexander Momoto Sogavo!

2009-04-27T22:33:00.000-07:00

My little man is turning 2 tomorrow. In fact, in exactly 5 hours from now. 2 years ago from this moment, I was in labor in the Western Highlands Province of Papua New Guinea...aching my way through contractions and waiting for this little babe to arrive. We didn't know if he was a boy or a girl. We had names picked out. I came close to a C-section, but with a little

pitocin, things moved along rapidly and before we knew it, I was pushing. We couldn't believe it- a soft, wet, warm, squishy little human being boy we now called our own. He slept so peacefully next to us in his cocoon of blankets while we marveled at him together in the silence of our recovery. Sigh- you had finally arrived.
Alex, you're such an incredible gift my boy...a gift of love & laughter & beauty & transcendence. You are incredible in every way. This birthday feels so emotional for me, even more than your first... Probably because we're about 5 weeks away from welcoming your little baby brother into the world, and while I'm ecstatic to have another child, another blessing...It also marks the end of one era and the beginning of another...These are my last 5 weeks with just you, my first baby. There is a part of me that doesn't want to let go of that. I like us. I like you and me. I like our little family of 3. I'm worried...that you'll feel left out or think we've forgotten about you when your brother arrives. I worry that you won't know how deeply and enormously we loved you these 2 years that it was just us. I want, with every fiber in my being, for you to know how much we love you, and how much we have cherished you in these 2 years of your life. And even more, I want you to know how much more we will continue to revel in who you are year after year after year.
Alex, you are mommy's special little boy. You are my first. You are still my baby. You are mommy's little starshine. You are my funkytown dancer. You are my little toddler that picks me yellow dandelions from the grass. You are the little man who squints his eyes and gives the biggest smile when we say, "Say Cheese!". You are the bright little dude that says, "How Great. My Favorite Song" and requests How Great is Our God at bedtime. You are the little man who prays for Oma & Opa & Grandma & Pa and Aria andeveryone in between. You ask to pray at least twice at every meal. You love strawberries, but only fresh ones! You love corn and meat and real mashed potatoes and cucumbers and dipping carrots in hummus. You love taking pictures with the camera, most of which are awesome shots of the carpet. You talk in your crib in the morning and then say, "Mama come! Open the door" when you're ready for us to come get you. You see every airplane that flies in the sky and ask to see videos of airplanes "air-flanes" on the computer every chance you get. You like taking medicine when you're sick. For "yes" you often say, "OK!" You love playing with daddy. Some of your favorites right now are playing in your fort that you built with dad, playing outside any chance you get, drawing air-flanes with your pencil, playing hide n seek, playing with your train and anything that involves kicking or throwing balls. Your hair was wild and awesome growing long and out of control. After daddy tried to do dreadlocks we decided to cut it because it was getting too hard to manage. You look just as adorable with short hair- like a little handsome gentleman. I miss your wild hair though, and I know you'll wear it long again sometime in your life.
For your birthday present, Daddy decided to build you something special- your very own little ride-in airplane! It turned out amazing!! He spent lots of time cutting & sanding & painting...I think you're going to love it! We think it's the coolest little present for a 2 year old- even more meaningful and fun than something we could have bought for you at the store. We've named the airplane "The Sogavo Flyer A42807" We hope you love it!
Zander, little man...I love you. I'm so glad you're in my life. I'm so thankful that God gave you to me- let me be your mama. I feel completely humbled at the opportunity to grow you up, to teach you and hold you and love you and pray for you...Oh God, thank you- for Alex and his little life- for all that his first 2 years have held and all that is to come in the next and the next. Here's to you Hopskotch Pickle...little Kudjip man. I love you! Happy Birthday!

Glitter Rising

2009-02-28T21:10:00.000-08:00

My favorite color is green lately. I've got some new maternity shirts that are green and I'm just loving them. Perusing my most recent posts, I was pleasantly reminded of how much fun we had this summer, how blessed we have been as a family, and how much we have to be thankful for. In the wake of Bizo losing his job, moving in with my gracious grandparents and stammering for some direction, it seems I have lost sight of those truths in so many ways. I am trying to regain myself. What also occured to me is that my person doesn't stand up well under the winter- I just wasn't made for it. My heart seems to blossom and shine leaps and bounds in the spring and summer months, only to shell up and hide when it turns cold. Everything seems harder in the winter. Inspiration doesn't come nearly as easily. Relationships seem to take more work. I don't feel like reaching out much.

Despite the loss we've endured over the last 4 months...there is glitter rising. God is everywhere regardless of my winter loss struggle. Friends remain. Conversations get deeper and more meaningful. Truth becomes LOUD and audible in ways it was not in the fancy distractable hot June and July of 2008. Marriage becomes the most important pillar - the best thing that's ever happened to us. Our little family of 3 (+1 in 3 short months!) becomes the most delightful thing for both of us, above all other opportunities. Building Lego towers with Alex in our sweatpants on Saturday morning feels like heaven- because it's really the best thing we've got going right now... and that's precisely the way it should be. Suddenly, in the loss, the glitter rises to the top so lucid and distinct.

Not only are we much more keenly aware of what really matters- we are beginning to see a vision for the future that is bigger than ourselves, greater than what we were seeing 4 months ago and more beautiful than we imagined...because it is God's vision and not our own. Dang, it's so easy to FORGET what this journey is all supposed to be about when everything is stable. We have a job and money to pay the bills and we go to church and feed our son and clean our house and play in the yard and change the oil on the Nissan and celebrate birthdays and watch TV and so on and so on... It's incredible the new things that come into focus when everything isn't so stable and predictable and safe and secure anymore. Wow. We needed this God, even though we didn't want it, we needed it. We needed this instability and insecurity. Not only did we need it to be able to see where your Glory is taking us, we needed it to be humbled to recieve help.

I am beginning to lose track of all the times people have helped us, specifically in financial ways, since the job loss in October. We have never been given so much, so freely in all our lives. We have been floored with the generosity of our friends and family and continue to say, "God! Thank you! We never expected to be cared for in such an abundant way! You are so good! This is community!" The generosity of others has widened our own capacity for giving and we are embarking on this new journey of finding our own great generous voice. For Christmas, Bizo and I gave each other a sponsorship of a little girl in Uganda through Compassion Int'l. It was the coolest thing... Neither of us missed the gifts we would have given otherwise... It is a reminder of our still great capacity to give despite our own loss. We will always have more cookies to give than someone who has less than we do- we must remain as givers regardless of our bottom line.

Have you ever put glitter in water and watched it float? It sits at the top and chills w/ease, setting itself apart from the water in the most glamorous way. This is my life right now- February 2009... Glitter Rising.

-Went to the Generosity Conference at our church (www.communitychristian.org) and walked away w some really solid and clear understandings of who God wants Bizo and I to be as a generous couple/family. Felt extremely inspired to reach for further generosity regardless of our circumstances

- Went to dinner to celebrate mom's 50th birthday- WOW! I can't believe it, mom! You totally don't look or seem like you are 50- I celebrate you! Happy Birthday!

-Visited Jeremy, Jackie and Aria in Tucson, AZ. Alex was a real champ on both flights- he fell in love with the sky, flying and airplanes and I can't wait to take him on another plane ride. He also exploded with words on that trip and has been repeating everything since...saying every word imaginable and I can't believe it! Before we know it, he'll be putting sentences together and he won't be my baby anymore! (Alex you'll always be my baby!!) As of yesterday, he started saying "Aria" when he sees her picture and smiles with lit up eyes- he clearly remembers her and our cool trip to visit. It was soo fun to see you guys!

-Started a new bible study group doing Beth Moore's study of Esther. It is by far the best Bible Study I've ever done...I cry every week as I listen to Beth lay it out with passion, conviction, humor, and raw authenticity. She's one of the best teachers I have ever heard... My life is changing because of this study. The Holy Spirit is present and alive and at work and it's awesome.

-I am 27 weeks pregnant today with baby BOY #2. He kicks all the time- Seemingly more than Alex did so I'm not sure what that means exactly? Is this little guy going to be wild and energetic and a handful? My sciatica nerve has been extremely painful this pregnancy to the point where I can hardly sit on the floor to play with Alex because that position is the absolute worst and my entire back/behind/and leg cramp up and hurt like heck... 13 weeks to go! Get this little dude out! Body back please!

-I am working on a long overdue painting right now about: the Earth- is the Lord's and everything in it... I love the painting and am so proud of its development. At the very same moment, I am extremely frustrated with it and can't seem to get a grasp on the next step and feel my vision for it is cloudy...What will break the clouds? When?

-Bizo and I are into this new TV show called "Lie to Me". It's about this guy who helps crack cases based on facial expressions and body language. It's extremely interesting and intriguing. It makes you re-examine your relationships, the way you communicate and the way those around you communicate. What a fun indulgence.

-yeah Slumdog Millionaire! Need I say more?

-I have been secretly praying about all of my friendships lately, that God would deepen each one...giving us flavor and depth and transformation through our connections as friends. I am in awe at how God is working in the secrecy of my prayers. I have had some of the best most significant conversations of my life recently: with my husband and many of my friends. I am really so blessed to be loved by such great people.

And that's it for today. It's 11:53pm and I'm tired. Watch the glitter rise folks- it's Beautiful!

Game Night

2008-10-01T22:34:00.000-07:00

Tonight I met with a fellow leader from church to plan an upcoming event. We are hosting a Family Game Night at church for our 1st-5th grade kids and their families on Oct.24th. I just wanted to share how inspiring it is to collaborate with someone. Traci- you are incredible! I was so encouraged by what you brought to the table. I felt sharpened and challenged and encouraged and followed and led and loved all at once. I am once again reminded of why God created the church to be a "body"... I need you, church! I need you fellow limbs! I need you to remind me of who I am, to help me press on, to grow my gifts, to help me expand my territory and to increase my influence. I am praying for God's anointing and agenda on this game night- that God would allow families to connect on a level that allows them to be more loved and more blessed and more cared for than they have been before. Thank you God for the reminder of who we are as the church!! God you are good!

ART MUSIC JUSTICE Tour

2008-09-19T23:04:00.000-07:00

Tonight I joined dear friends at Wheaton Bible Church for the ART MUSIC JUSTICE tour- a concert of singer/songwriters including Sara Groves and others. This tour is Sara's brainchild but really the heart and passion of each of the performers tonight. They each shared a bit of their story and interaction with global need and how we can each play a part. It was moving, inspiring, encouraging, challenging, butt kicking, soul saving, raw, uninhibited, gracious, beautiful. I never want my evening concerts with Sara and friends to end...

Several things happened of note tonight:
1. I brought a gift for Sara and was able to give it to her...simply as a small treasure from me to her to say, "Thank you! You're incredible. God has changed me because of your music, your soul, your art, your voice- Thank you!" Sara, if you ever make it to the blog- I'm so blessed to be living at the same time as you...to be inspired by what God is doing in your soul...to charge ahead on my own journey of selflessness, giving, caring for the orphans and widows of the world, being the hands and feet of Jesus. Thank you and let's keep being these passionate, centered, focused, loud world changers for Jesus!! You are loved!"

2. During the concert I decided to take notes...kind of a weird thing to do at a concert, but I decided it was going to be an intentional way for me to remember the specific words and phrases that God let stick in my heart...It felt like a sifting process....listening to the music, the words I was hearing....and waiting patiently for those small nuggets of truth that are exactly meant for me today...So, here are my notes....for all of you to read.

Courage is just fear that has said its prayers - Anne Lamott
This is your new song
THROUGH
You're gonna live like you used to dream
There is hope for me because God won't forget all the things that he's made for me, I'll have to wait and see.
I was afraid I'd be the weakest link
I'm gonna show you what I mean
Still wrestling with my fears
Pull you out of sand, standing on their shoulders
Is the brightness still in me?
Every center broken...daring to call them God strong
I'm not who I was.
Let's come together in good story and empathy- in justice, in grace, in unity
"You did it! Thank you Jesus!"
Sheer pleasure of being known completely without shame
Redeem my life in my time God!

I am mobilized for action. I am ready to make changes in my life to continue becoming more useful and more aware of Christ and his work. I am asking for annointing upon my spirit, upon my marriage, upon our family and our home, upon our dreams. I long to make a difference. I long to be a part of the Christian community that is literally being the hands and feet of Jesus all over the world. I long to be on the front lines. When the saints go marching in, I want to be one of them. I saw what I saw and I can't deny it...something on the road cut me to the soul....

I urge you to see this tour, visit the official site for International Justice Mission and Food for the Hungry where you can learn more about being mobilized to global action to make a difference too.

http://www.myspace.com/artmusicjustice
www.ijm.org

Here are the pictures from toinght minus a picture of the gift for sara: a set of earring magnets from my new store:
www.bilasdesign.etsy.com.
I thought I had documented those magnets, but alas, I had not...They are beautiful antique looking oval gold earrings with a large peral centerpiece....They are so beautiful! I hope you find a cozy place for them Sara!

Enjoy!

Birthday Celebrations More

2008-09-08T19:39:00.000-07:00

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As promised to my wonderful family- here are some fun pictures from our birthday celebration for Aunt Jen's 40th at P.F. Chang's China Bistro a couple of weeks ago... P.F. Chang's is a fabulous upscale Chinese food joint in Schaumburg...The place was packed and bustling, the food was super tasty and I think everyone laughed quite a bit and really enjoyed themselves. I had the fabulous Singapore Street Noodles- shrimp and chicken and rice noodles stir fried in a yellow curry sauce. After our meal, most of us indulged in their mini $2 desserts and coffee- what fun!

You know how you just adore someone through and through and there's just nothing about them you can even think to not like? That's the kind of person my Aunt Jen is...really...she's just that completely likable kind of person... She always takes an interest in me and my family and our lives and what is happening with us. She and my uncle Scott are always giving and generous. They're patient and humble and kind. I love being around their family...They always inspire me to be a little better, a little more humble and patient and loving. They exude authenticity. I think that's incredible.

I tried to capture the "spirit" of the evening as opposed to mugshots and posed shots...hope you can feel it here. Happy Birthday Jen- I've always admired you- Love you so much!

favorite summer moments

2008-08-22T08:16:00.000-07:00

This is a picture from one of my most favorite moments this summer. Eating dinner on the outdoor patio at Venice Tavern in Batavia with my dear friends Kristin and Holly. We planned an entire day together. We walked for miles in a park and got a little lost and laughed hysterically as we tried to find our way back to our car. We went swimming at Holly's pool and ate a delicious chocolate peanut butter BOMB dessert that Kristin made for my birthday. We had deep meaningful conversations while soaking in the hot tub about our hearts and how we're each longing to know our own souls better, to be living out of true selves more and more. We exchanged fears and unknowns and dreams that are still unfulfilled. We relished the quiet, the ease, the beauty of a summer day spent close to friends. We headed to a darling restaurant called the Venice Tavern in downtown Batavia and sat on the patio for dinner. We ate under the white lights on trees, swaying back and forth to great cover songs by the live band, laughing, reminiscing, projecting, dreaming. After dinner we walked along the riverwalk talking and listening to another live band. We joined in the dancing for one song and laughed how silly we felt. We talked about our jobs and our families and our marriages and our God. We held each other up. We were safe and affirming and accepting. It was one of those days that you won't forget because it was soo good. One of those days where you feel like whatever might have been wrong before, however you might have been wounded recently, was washed over, healed up, restored... simply by the presence and connection of friends. God is an incredible God for creating us for relationships. I'm so thankful for these women in my life as well as a bundle of others who call me to greatness, who accept me for me, who walk with me through every season of life.

I hope today you get to connect to these safe friends in your life, whoever they may be. Tonight we are out to dinner for my Aunt Jen's 40th birthday. Aunt Jen is so special... She's so sweet and thoughtful and dear and authentic and beautiful. I can't wait to see her and the rest of my family to celebrate! Happy Connecting and have a great weekend!

magical nights & funny animalish days

2008-08-21T21:33:00.000-07:00

Last night we went to Ravinia Festival to hear the UB40 concert. My husband is a big fan of UB40 and the Reggae genre so we thought it would be a fun addition to his birthday festivities. It was actually planned as a girls night and when he found out he was speechless that I would not have invited him :). I quickly made new arrangements! I'm so glad we got to go together. My husband is sweet and funny and such a servant. We had the best time packing up, talking on the drive up, holding hands, lugging our food and chairs in Alex's wagon, dancing under the stars to "Red Red Wine" and busting a gut with laughter. Our friends brought wonderful food and delightful conversation. We took funny pictures and basically closed the park down saying, "I can't believe it's over already! It can't be over yet?! We just got here!" It was magical. If you haven't been to Ravinia before, we highly recommend it as one of our top summer activities. Thank you Grandma Kathy for snuggling with Alex watching the Olympics so we could enjoy a night out! We are so thankful for you! I've included a few snapshots from the evening here.

Today was a full, long and animalish day at the Brookfield Zoo with Alex and my mom. We ate egg skillets for breakfast at Nick's Cozy Corner in Plainfield before jumping on 55 to head to the zoo. Once there, we headed for Stingray Bay first where Alex got to lean over and swish his little hands in the water as stingrays swam past. Ah, The delight in his eyes. We went to the dolphin show and got completely soaked sitting in the third row- grandma wasn't so happy about that! We walked and walked and ate sandwiches and drank lemonade and ran after the little man. We saw bears, chickens, birds, tigers, cows, fish, and a bunch more animals that I can't remember. My favorites (and secretly I think my little guys favorite too) were the giraffes. They're just incredibly tall with a designer coat- they are hard to miss. Perfect strangers offered Alex goldfish. An older woman working in the walk in farm batted a broom at my son. Another perfect stranger spoke words of affirmation. My mom took care of us. Walking out at 4pm, Alex fell asleep in the stroller. I'm ready to fall into bed now and sleep till next Tuesday. Today I'm thankful for a place where amazing animals live that we get to visit, picnics, water, mothers, strollers and sleep. See you tomorrow!

Great Possibility

2008-08-20T07:16:00.000-07:00

The morning opens with great possibility. My husband is so gracious and let me sleep in, again! This seems to happen at least once a week if not more, and for that I am so thankful. Today's focus will be working on getting my new business venture off the ground (to be revealed hopefully very very soon!), finding crayons to add to Alex's art supplies, establishing an "art" station for Alex somewhere in the house, and prepping food and goodies for an outdoor concert tonight at Ravinia. We are dropping Alex off with grandma so we can take in the old school tunes of UB40...they are one of Bizo's favorites so we thought it would be a great way to continue his birthday celebration. We are also going with good friends and are looking forward to staring up at the stars and the moon, having a glass of wine and relaxing together under one of the last few summer night skys left.

Creative note: I recently found a line of journals, notebooks, and datebooks at Barnes & Noble that I think artists anywhere should know about. The line is called working class studio featuring artists from the Savannah College of Art and Design as a product development venture exposing young developing artists by marrying funcion and fine art to deliver a well curated mix of cutting edge design. That's a blurb from the back of the journal I bought from the line. Definitely worth checking out!

I've included some favorite pictures from the summer here- Enjoy!

Happy reading, arting, discovering and creating today...summer is slipping away!

Birthday Cheesecake

2008-08-19T20:15:00.000-07:00

It's been almost a week now since my Design class at Waubonsee ended. I am stammering for creative space. I have a million art projects brewing. Just how to get them all done and put together and posted and arted and labeled and documented and portfolioed and started, that is the challenge at hand.

My biggest creative buster is my own insecurity and laziness. In the last year of my life I have begun working hard at pushing back those busters only to see daylight, success, fulfillment and accomplishment. I am hooked.

One of my biggest inspirations as of late is a blog I found through www.etsy.com The name of the blog is SouleMama and I can hardly "put it down". I've bookmarked the page and try to get to it as often as I can without being fanatical, and reminding myself that I ought to be arting instead of reading someone else's blog about their arting! It's all a process, and for now, whatever fuels the process is fair game for me. So the site is: www.soulemama.com A must check out.

Tonight SouleMama has once again charged my own soul and challenged it to think deeper than what is sometimes floating at the surface. Tonight, reading an interview with the soulemama
(http://simplemom.net/the-creative-family-by-amanda-soule/) I have been reminded that other people's cool blogs are only a snapshot of their lives, in fact they are a snapshot that has been chosen intentionally to convey specific meaning... It's real easy to feel like you've nothing awe-inspiring to share when your neighbor's blog feels so full of cool. I've got to stop letting that bust my creativity.

So here's to pushing through, finding my own voice, arting because I was made for it, letting go of worrying what might be at the other end...

Today is my husband, Bizo's birthday. He is 32. I made a roast, baked sweet potatos, steamed broccoli, fresh gooey rolls for dinner and a white chocolate amaretto cheesecake with strawberries for dessert! Before throwing my apron on, Alex and I joined friends at Blackberry Farm in Aurora and delighted in the hot sun, train ride, and animal gazing. We met the funniest sheep ever, who kept shouting out as loud as can be, "BAA! BAA!"...Old MacDonald would have been proud! Bizo and Alex played in his blow up pool in the yard while I cooked. We ate the birthday dinner over candlelight and listened to our sons new noises that sound a little bit like words. We took a bikeride before dusk and chased Alex around the park relishing in his belly laughter and little feet running everywhere. We called Lapilo and talked and cried with Topiso, Evelyn, Momoto and Carol and longed to be together again. It was a full, beautiful, creative family birthday celebration. I'm starting to think there is something to these quieter, less planned, less hectic family days...especially when you're celebrating something special!

Enjoy these pictures from our day. Now it's off to bed for much needed rest. Goodnight!

I MET SARA GROVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-04-14T22:35:00.000-07:00

me sara
I met Sara Groves!!! My friend Holly got tickets for a bunch of friends to go see Sara at a church concert near Milwaukee. We were totally excited and giddy and on cloud 9 like little school girls with big crushes when sara appeared in the lobby of the church post concert. We joined the line, rehearsed what we would say, laughed ourselves silly and I actually peed my pants. That's right, peed in my pants because I was laughing so hard with girlfriends about what the heck to say to the Sara Groves, because she's just so RAD and inspiring and I want to be like her. I was honored and needless to say, this is only the first picture of many to come... we're on your trail, sara! see you at the next concert. can't wait.

on a more serious note, the display by WOrld Vision was phenomenal... sara's spirit, struggle and stories that have shaped her life, her family, and her journey of faith in God and life walking with GOd are real and authentic and awe inspiring. If there's one "celebrity" that I'd want to be my real friend in real life, it's sara. Sara, can we have coffee, seriously? Not to laugh and pee our pants (well, we can do that too) but so we can talk about International Justice Mission and the child your sponsoring and my dream to go to Africa and the need and hurt in Papua New Guinea and my inlaws and tribal family and being moms and being women who have been working on hammering out their faith, piece by piece, song by song, day by day, child by child, book by book, continent by continent, prayer by prayer... Can we hang out so we can talk and become confessional friends? Sara, I hope we get to really talk someday. Love what you're doing- thanks for spurring me on in my journey...to be more "missional". to be more "kingdom". to be more selfless. to be more "remember surrender". to be more "saintly". I want to be one of them (the saints marching in) too!!! Love you Sara!

Preparing for Easter

2008-03-18T08:52:00.000-07:00

Every year I say to other people and internally, how much I want to do the work of really "preparing" for Easter. Every year I don't prepare as I want to, Easter approaches, and I feel a sense of disappointment. I know I've missed out on some amazing moments with God preparing me for this most important event in history and in my life.

This year I signed up for some Lent/Easter preparation emails through an organization called CRM Empowering Leaders. I'm not even that familiar with the group, but stumbled upon this Lent email idea while browsing another site about soul care : http://www.soulcare.com/

I've been getting the emails every day for the last week and I'm so pumped. It's provided an easy access way for me to grab some time (during Alex's naps!) to read scripture and reflect seriously on Jesus and the meaning of the Lent and Easter season. It's also provided some thought provoking questions that I've been using to jumpstart my journaling which have also led to some significant and meaningful connections with God. Finally.

If you've always been meaning to be a little more "prepared" for Easter but keep putting it off, check out this site and sign up for the daily emails now. I guarantee it will be a great catalyst for helping you connect deeper to Jesus through this meaningful time in our journey as believers! Here is the link to the website: http://www.crmleaders.org/ I hope this is helpful to anyone who needs it!

A Day in the Life of a mom...

2008-02-21T12:11:00.000-08:00

The day starts with lots of toys...everywhere!
we continue on to time in the walker where my son discovers the garbage/recycling bin
Next we chase after Alex as he's one step ahead of mom trying to get his hands into the toilet that definitely hasn't been cleaned yet this week
Just as I've pryed his little hands from the toilet seat, he discovers the toilet paper and proceeds to hit and let flow

Becoming a Dangerous Woman

2008-02-17T21:36:00.000-08:00

Me & V the day we left Goroka waiting for the plane
When I was living in New Guinea, my mom sent us a large package full of snacks, clothes, diapers for the then unborn alex, magnets, movies, books and all kinds of other goodies. Among the books was one by Lynne Hybels, nice girls don't change the world. I was thrilled to have some new books, some creative inspiration that wasn't available anywhere in the country. I remember curling up in bed in my pj's with my big pregnant belly the next day to read the book all the way through. I read and sobbed and read and paused to think and read and laughed and read and cried and read and cried and read. I was so inspired.

I wished I could call Lynne to come over for a cup of Blue Mountain coffee and homemade fudge frosting cake so we could talk and be inspired together. I wrote her a letter that day and intended to send it asap. It's still sitting in my laptop, unsent. I think I'll email it to her through her website.

I loaned the book to one of my best friends in PNG, Bizo's sister Vauname. She read it and was so inspired in just the same way. I left the book there with her and told her to pass it on to another woman who needed to be inspired to live dangerously for God.

Today, a little more than a year after I read Lynne's book, I jumped on her website to read about what she's up to and came across her article, "My Sister's Keeper". wow. Drove me right back to my knees, right back to my journal, right back to my bible, right back to my desire for action...for hope...for being a dangerous woman... I'm left wondering where the months have gone and wondering what the most important things are that I can do right now based on all the need in the world at this very moment.

I hope you'll take the time to look at her site, read her awesome (short) book, and read the article "My Sister's Keeper". Since my bank account is empty, this is the best thing I can do in this moment...to share what I've learned. To learn more go to: http://www.lynnehybels.com/

V! I miss you...more than you know. I cry often when I think of you. I can't believe I'm going to miss your graduation day. We are hoping and praying for you all the time, that you'll be able to make it over here to live with us. Keep being dangerous woman! You are awesome! God thinks you're awesome and loves you to the ends of the earth! I know I'll see you soon... I just know it. Kisses and hugs to the whole family.

august rush

2007-11-27T21:57:00.000-08:00

I have this thing about going to see movies. I like it silent. I have to wear a shirt with a fairly high collar or a sweatshirt type top in case it's really good, so I can cover my face up to my eyes, hide my insides as best I can. I cry and cry and cry and cry. And then, at the end, I'm quiet. Quiet as can be. I can't bear to speak words or hear them or respond to them. It just doesn't seem right, in fact it doesn't not seem right, it isn't right...to create something else on the close heels of something else so beautiful. It needs time to simmer, to settle, to wrestle in my soul. It needs time to be beautiful, time to resonate, time to change me, time to call me out. I can't stand jokes or switching the subject so quickly. I can't be anywhere else but "there", where all the beauty of the creation resides.

august rush.

what am i supposed to say? it's unbelievable. incredible. I cried through the whole thing. Just one more movie, one more song, one more person, one more line to remind me who I am, who I was made to be, the "music" that's in me. Gosh darn...I want to be august rush. I want to run the course in such a way that the prodigy in me comes out. I want to be "found" as august puts it. there is something deep in my soul that connects to the story of prodigy becoming, musician being recognized, artist glorified. I feel as though I have this crazy awesome creativity within me, just waiting to happen, just waiting to burst, just waiting to create it's best, it's biggest, it's most beautiful. seems so silly. seems so "everyone wants to be a rockstar" ish. I've felt it since I was little...I've felt that tingly, "I've got it in me", I'm really special, I've got something different to offer feeling in me since I was little, and it's never gone away. I feel it in conversations with friends and strangers. I feel it watching movies like August Rush and Rudy and Dead Poets Society and School of Rock and Born Into Brothels. I feel it at church and work and home and outside and inside. I feel it driving down the street and I feel it when I go to sleep at night.

But the feeling isn't so much about thinking that I might be a prodigy. I'm pretty sure I'm not a prodigy. The feeling is about knowing that I have something really unique and incredible to create for this world (and the next) and an urgency to get on it. The feeling is about being convinced that all the passion I experience for all the things that have caught my attention, all the love I have for people in my life and their stories, all the joy I live from one moment to the next really really means something, and that what I have to create as a byproduct of those feelings, experiences, emotions, events and relationships is something that the world cannot afford to miss.

The list right now looks something like this:
1. organize art studio
2. write plan for website
3. finish writing book about experience in PNG
4. make cards for Christmas
5. make card prototypes to market to card companies
6. take seasonal pictures of the farmhouse to frame
7. take more pictures of Alex in natural light for truer shots
8. finish scrapbook for alex
9. start wedding scrapbook
10. make decisions about christmas gifts/decide what you are making and what you are buying
11. read Art and Fear again
12. buy new journal
13. start playing the piano and the guitar again
14. choose audition material for upcoming Epic Theatre auditions
15. hang out with Kimo, find out what projects she is working on right now
16. research art schools and scholarships
17. finish "Seasons" painting
18. Talk to tammy about leading worship for the next KC jam
19. upload new photos to facebook
20. write letters

the list goes on and on and on. Literally. My friend Melissa sent a message saying she needed a project. I sent her a similar list and said she could have one of mine, since I have too many.

August Rush makes me want to stay up for a week straight so I can accomplish all of these things. August Rush makes me believe I can accomplish them all; that I will.

Stories like August Rush remind me to keep being a part of the story that God is weaving. They remind me to hang on to the list, to keep plugging away at it, to keep looking for the ways in which my creativity and story can contribute to the grander story of humanity. Stories like August Rush connect me to my original frame, to my blueprint, where God wrote the plans for me...where God designed the beauty of my heart and soul and story and willed it to become alive.

august rush also hit the "parent" chord in me. weird. the parent chord. I have a parent chord now. the emotion was so intense...to think of losing alex... (I already lost my first baby to miscarriage at 10 weeks) to think of losing a prodigy that were my son (could alex be a prodigy? wow...what a thought.) to think of being told my alex was dead...when he was really alive. To think that I, that we, Bizo and I, have created something even better than ourselves... That God has created a masterpiece out of us together..is just warping. I can't quite grasp it.

I got home from the movie and I went and laid down on the floor next to my sleeping 7 month old baby boy. (we're sleeping over at grandma and grandpas tonight and forgot the pack n play! floor's always worked before!) I kissed his soft hair and watched him breathe. I wanted to touch his hands and his back and his face, but I didn't, just in case I woke him. All I could think was "august rush" in a whisper... august rush...august rush....august rush...

i am alone now and able to catapult my intense quietness into this computer. feels a bit like vomitting. so much to say, it spews out like a steady stream and I have to remind myself to keep letting it come and forget the fear that it won't sound right or make sense. I resist the urge to go back and re-read before I am done writing. I long to be back in the theatre, swept up in the concert. I long to be swirling in the music, rushing to the beauty, wanting more from my creative self. I long to be encouraged. I long to be found.

putting off posting

2007-10-23T00:09:00.000-07:00

So I've been putting off posting for the last month and a half because...well...because I kind of can't shake the idea that I'm not in New Guinea anymore.

We started the blog to chronicle the events while overseas with full intentions to continue blogging upon our return. NOw here we are, almost 2 months back on American soil, and only 2 short uneventful blogs to show for it. I can't tell you how many times I've thought about writing, but neglected the idea.

And I think it's because I'm so sad to not be there anymore. To write again here would mean that the experience really is over. That everything that happened in New GUinea is now a part of the past, nostalgia, an experience once had, a year of life already lived, and frankly, I don't want it to be that way.

I don't want to let New Guinea go.

It's crazy, because I'll never forget sobbing my eyes out day in and day out because it was so weird, foreign (literally), lonely, unfamiliar, and different that I couldn't seem to find anything happy about the place. All I wanted was to go home. Then, 10 months later, we're giving away our posessions (once again) left and right to family members, and having a sleepover the night before we flew away, working on a family tree and making fried food with Bizo's siblings and taking a family picture. Tears, tears, tears just streamed out of my body as we stepped foot out of the Goroka airport and walked our three selves to the airplane to take us away. Never felt such a heart wrenching goodbye before. I know it was hard to say goodbye to my mom last November when we left for PNG. Somehow, because we have no definite time frame for when we will return, it was even harder to say goodbye to Bizo's family on the way out.

So, I'm choosing to dive back in and blog. I couldn't think of anything else to write about but how I've been avoiding writing and why.

I'm working on a book about my experience in PNG. Maybe it will get published someday. For now, I'll keep writing on this blog about my now past adventure on the other side of the world, hoping it gives clarity to my new reality, back in chicago, living "the american dream".

there. how's that for moving forward?

if you have a car to donate, click here

2007-09-03T08:26:00.000-07:00

miles and miles and miles and miles
airports
smells
people
mean lady stole my taxi in australia
rugby shows
fish and chips
baby crying
baby laughing
pictures
more pictures
neon yellow "welcome home" sign
mom and dad
kelly and mark
family
6 great grandparents
new quilted baby blankets
lots of love
these houses are HUGE!
i feel like i'm in a monopoly game
everyone is playing
play money, play jobs, play houses, play play play
twilight zone
jet lag
can't sleep
late nights
runny noses allergies resuming
trees park
picnic surprise baby shower
moving
painting
old farmhouse
romantic
lots of work
new art project
new job?
no car
mom and dad
baby smiles
new toys
carseat is weird
unfamiliar he cries
we're moving today
but we can't sleep there
we don't have a car
why did we sell our cars again?
what were we thinking?
one year
foreign country
so happy we went
tribal headress
helping people
family
sisters
mother in law
help help help
eating kau kau on the floor
pizza
gardens in the pacific
ocean
fox river
moving
so much to do
friends coming to help
God is so good
provision
love
everything is ok
we still need a car
Does anyone have a car they want to donate to a happy family that needs one? we'll take anything that runs! call us at 630-878-2265

coming home

2007-08-20T04:16:00.000-07:00

going home
i'll meet you in the air
going home
i'll meet you at the table
you are never too young to think about it
i cannot wait to be going home... -sara groves

i've been listening to this song, Going Home, non-stop lately as I dream about climbing on the planes, riding through the sky, walking into my momma's arms again, eating american pizza and seeing everyone important once again.

i have been crying on and off today with such mixed emotions it's unreal. a year ago i never thought i'd be sad to leave this place...but, I am. I am so sad to leave bizo's family and our experience here in png. it has been so good...even in the so hard...
I have been crying too So nervous (so weird i know) to come home and have culture shock...i'm so nervous about driving and going to the grocery store and feeling overwhelmed at the hugeness of the city........will everyone take care of us please? we feel a little fragile about coming back!

We will be arriving at O'Hare airport on Sunday, August 26th at 3pm coming in from LA on American Airlines. Flight # QF0175. We would LOVE to see anyone and everyone who can come to the airport to greet us... we have missed you all so much and can hardly stand having a little baby that no one has seen yet!!!!!!!!!! (except a lucky few) We'll be heading to my parents in plainfield and ordering pizza and hanging out so anyone who can come, we would love to see you! It's been WAY TOO LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!
See you on the other side............

Geirokalo & Frange Pange Snorkeling

2007-08-02T07:15:00.000-07:00

Geirokalo (Melissa) and Sagarygary (Lisa) (aka Frange Pange)

That's right folks... today we went snorkeling in the ocean in madang at jais haben resort. Frange Pange and I did a lot of work trying not to hyperventilate inside our masks... while I had been snorkeling before, it always seems to be something that has to be "warmed up to" in the beginning. today was no different. we would put our faces in the water, float for a bit (at the shore still mind you) and then pop up with new ideas on how to relax and remain calm while down under. the first two ideas i had were to 1.focus on the cold water and how refreshing it was in the hot sun 2. to breathe deliberately heavy and loud and to focus on the breathing. Both tactics seemed to allow me to calm down and not think about sharks attacking me or choking on gallons of salt water. It's funny, both tactics seem to resonate loud and clear with my time here in new guinea not to mention giving birth.

most of our time here in png we've been drinking water... sometimes we've had iced tea, or lemonade and juice. Every now and then it was a treat to buy coke (only because we were living on such little income that it didn't make sense to routinely buy "luxuries") or Topiso would bring me cokes as a gift from the store, because she knows i like them! While I would choose to have yummy drinks any time day or night, the routine of water has become calming... refreshing...maybe it's helped me focus more on the life i've been given rather than being distracted by all the things that might drown me out. I'm not saying we should all only drink water. i'm just reflecting on my experience, which has been full of water and lots of it. and, the sun is pretty hot in png...so having cold water all the time WAS really refreshing...more than it ever has been in wintry chicago. :)

weeks before giving birth to alex bizo started telling me to "breathe" everytime I started to get bent out of shape about anything or antsy or anxious or teary or..... anything other than calm. He was practicing his support role for labor and I was being reminded to practice my "give birth" role for labor. It was a joint partnership- working for each other. It was good. So, when it came time to welcome Alex, we both really knew how to breathe well. The doctor even said so; some of the best labor breathing he's ever seen in fact. So, now, in the aftermath, I'm finding myself focusing more on breathing in every day stuff and it's helping just like it did in labor. helping to calm me down. helping me to focus on life instead of death, good instead of evil, joy instead of pain, love instead of fear, wait instead of now, longing instead of stagnance, real instead of insecure, being instead of should be.

When we were done snorkeling today, nate and I told frange pange that we were proud of her for going snorkeling, since she was hesitant about diving in initially. She had said that she wasn't the strongest swimmer and that previous experiences had done everything but teach her to love the water and adventurous experiences in it, like snorkeling. When we said we were proud, she accepted and then told us that she enjoyed it and experienced God in it. I think we both experienced God today tooling around the coral and fish...perhaps he is always more present, more real, more alive and more with us than we ever expect. I hope someone asks me tomorrow how I've been experiencing God lately so I can say, "while snorkeling with frange pange in madang yesterday afternoon".

note: frange pange is a pseudo png name recently given to lisa by her husband nate. Sagarygary is Lisa's ACTUAL new PNG name given to her by Topiso, my mother-in-law. Sagarygary is also a png flower just like Geirokalo is a png flower.

unity

2007-07-31T19:04:00.000-07:00

this morning bizo and i talked about what we're doing well as parents and what we're not doing well. This parent thing is hard! We're not quite sure how to do it and that feels scary and frustrating. I started our conversation irritated...mostly with myself and partially with bizo...because we don't have it figured out and we don't have all the answers...but what we do have is a little boy, 3 months old, looking to us for direction and guidance and a Godly example... wow- what a responsibility.

we picked up a book about parenting and were reading it here and there and stopping to ask questions and talk together about our thoughts. We argued a bit and we connected. we ended the conversation with no real new "answers", but a little more unifed than we had been an hour ago.

now i'm blogging and bizo is giving alex a bath. he's got him cozied up in a little towel, kissing and snuggling into his face. A renewed sense of wonder, awe, thanksgiving and purpose fills me. I remember that I am not alone in this endeavor...that I have a partner who wants this kid to grow and thrive just as much as I do. I have a guy by my side who cares just the same about doing this well and while the "how-to" sometimes looks different for each of us, our goal is the same. over time we will learn to do this and do it well. It's all going to be ok...

Kimbe PNG

2007-07-31T15:14:00.000-07:00

I am sitting with my husband in a guesthouse at the ntm madang mission base. our baby is sleeping and we are eating banana nut muffins that nate and lisa brought from the states. they are fast asleep. We drove down to madang yesterday and plan to just relax, do some snorkeling and swimming and enjoy the "mini-getaway" from goroka. we'll also shop for some artifacts and fun things in town at the market.

We return home in about 3 weeks and it's feeling surreal as ever. We are so excited to come home and nervous all at the same time. we are so sad to be leaving Bizo's family and the comfort we've grown used to over the past months in png... it becomes home, wherever you are... and now we are going to leave again.

i am nervous about driving, especially on the highway. I have not driven for 10 months. i'll need to do a few practice rounds around the neighborhood block by myself before venturing out with alex on board.

i am nervous about gaining 500 pounds in the wake of access to all the American treats I haven't had for so long.

Bizo is nervous about everything coming together: jobs, cars, providing for his family.

We're excited about showing off our kid. Bizo is excited about having a steady routine and income. He's also excited about stepping into Home Depot again. I'm excited about ordering and drinking a cinnamon dulce latte from starbucks and seeing everyone i love again.

We are very sad to be leaving this beautiful country, full of beautiful mountains and ocean.... and really interesting culture and people.
What an adventure it's been.
We can't wait to share our stories.

This is a pic my dad took in Kimbe when they were here. It certainly captures "coastal life" well. we love you png.

More PNG images

2007-07-11T23:08:00.000-07:00

Sogavo sorting his coffee

the studs in my life

dad talking at the village church

boo-boo topiso and grandma kathy with their grandson

mom and dad gloating

house cook right next door to our house

me, alex, and bizo's grandma

sogavo, me, bizo and alex

Mom and Dad arriving in PNG

2007-07-11T22:55:00.000-07:00

Sogavo, Aupe, Momoto, Messi, Mom, Bizo, Dad and Alex

Proud grandma and grandpa

mom seeing alex for the first time

dad seeing alex for the first time

MuMu for Hunters and VanKs

2007-07-11T22:12:00.000-07:00

Saying goodbye to the Hunter family at the airport- We miss you Rhonda, Stu, Dakota and Savannah!!!!!!!!

yum... eating mumu food.

hanging out up track before the mumu.

standing on "bizo's land" uptrack. If we return to png to live, this is where we will build a home. The view is gorgeous with mountains on all sides.

alex sporting a hat from grandma kathy that is still way too big for him :)

Arizo and Aricuzo preparing peas for mambu. (peas, kumu, ginger and meat cooked together in bamboo over a fire)

Bizo and Kiki workin the mumu. We threw the mumu for friends hunters and vank's to say thank you for all their help in kudjip when we had alex and to give a proper PNG farewell to Hunters who finished their 4 year mission term and left in early June to go back to the states.

more of alex - earlier in May

2007-07-11T21:30:00.000-07:00

Thanks again aunt lisa and uncle nate for the very humorous outfits. i am almost too big to wear them now!

My first Mother's Day with Alex. Bizo took us out to eat in town.

Enter the New Country by Henri Nouwen

2007-07-11T20:59:00.000-07:00

When my parents were here in New Guinea, my dad picked up one of my books and earmarked a page for me to read later. The book is The Inner Voice of Love by Henri Nouwen. I cried when I heard it because of it's poignancy in my life right in this moment. Perhaps it will speak to you and whatever country you're in right now - literally and figuratively. Enjoy.

Enter the New Country by Henri Nouwen
You have an idea of what the new country looks like. Still you are very much at home, although not truly at peace, in the old country. You know the ways of the old country, its joys and pains, its happy and sad moments. You have spent most of your days there. Even though you know that you have not found there what your heart most desires, you remain quite attached to it. It has become part of your very bones.

Now you have come to realize that you must leave it and enter the new country, where your Beloved dwells. You know that what helped and guided you in the old country no longer works, but what else do you have to go by? You are being asked to trust that you will find what you need in the new country. That requires the death of what has become so precious to you: influence, success, yes, even affection and praise.

Trust is so hard, since you have nothing to fall back on. Still, trust is what is essential. The new country is where you are called to go, and the only way to go there is naked and vulnerable.

It seems that you keep crossing and recrossing the border. For a while you experience a real joy in the new country. But then you feel afraid and start longing again for all you left behind, so you go back to the old country. To your dismay, you discover that the old country has lost its charm. Risk a few more steps into the new country, trusting that each time you enter it, you will feel more comfortable and be able to stay longer.

Our PNG Wedding

2007-07-03T22:21:00.000-07:00

These pictures go in order from bottom to top...............

Bizo and I and Alex.

the village men were responsible for putting my headress on. the whole time they were working, they talked about how fine my white gras (hair) is which was making it hard to attach the headress pieces and how they are used to png gras which is coarse and strong.

Alex just chilled out with my favorite village lady while i got all decked out and bizo took pictures - i call her the boob flicker. that's right... there's a story there- we'll save it for another time though... her bilas for the event?: a wig and gold christmas garland on her head.

The entire village was there to watch me get dressed up. My guess? a few hundred folks.

June 14, 2007

Bizo's family hosted a traditional PNG Highlands wedding for he and I. I was brought to a local village, Kosoroka, where villagers were waiting to dress me up in traditional tribal garb. To get to the village we had to cross a broken swinging bridge over the local river.

holiday at kimbe with mom and dad

2007-07-03T21:20:00.001-07:00

while mom and dad were here we flew to kimbe which is near hoskins, an island in png. we stayed at an oceanside plantation resort called Walindi. My dad was on a live aboard dive ship for a week and took some incredible underwater pictures. Bizo and I went snorkeling while mom & dad watched the baby for us. it was super relaxing and fun.

crazy 2 months

2007-07-03T19:24:00.000-07:00

It has been an exhausting and fun and intense 2 months since Alex was born. I think we are finally settling into some kind of normalcy and routine, although we'll be heading home to the states again in 2 more months, so normalcy will go right out the window again. My parents were just here for 3 weeks+ and we had a wonderful time together. I couldn't have asked for better gifts this year while in Png: the arrival of alex and having my parents visit...

this has been a long, hard journey in so many ways. There are so many stories that I haven't had the chance to type up and put on the blog, so many pictures to show. I guess as I look forward to leaving in something like 54 days, I am wanting to "sum things up" somehow, but i don't know where to begin. So much has changed. So much has happened.

Bizo and I have definitely had great times with his family. I'm so thankful for this time to get to know them. I feel comfortable with them and that feels good. I've seen some really beautiful things: gorgeous rolling hills and mountains, gorgeous starfish and coral while snorkeling in the pacific ocean, png people living in such a very different way from what we know at home. Bizo and I have reveled in the slowed down pace of life- it suits both of us so well, surprise surprise. We have been spoiled by the peace of no phone, tv, or internet at home. We have also sorely missed the access to the rest of the world from home. we have struggled through adjusting to having bizo's family close by and through my adjusting to the png culture. our marriage has endured through some of the most challenging days we have seen yet. i gave birth to a child, a little boy, who is sitting wriggling next to me with bubbles on his lips while i type. we lived the first few months here with no coffee maker. i learned how to use a pressure cooker and found it tenderizes meat really well, especially tough png meat. i've gone to the bathroom on the side of the road one too many times. i was the bride in a traditional png marriage ceremony, full bilas and all. we've taken a million pictures. i have a book title and a million anecdotes ready, i just have to start typing. i've flown on airplanes more in this 10 month period than in my entire life combined i think. we're going through about 40 diapers a week. i am now the proud owner of over 50 billums and 30 meri blauses. i learned how to dig kau kau out of bizo's mom's garden. i've had pek pek wara more in this 10 months than ever before. i came to png not able to hear pidgin...i will leaving being able to hear it. i have laughed with bizo's villagers. i have cried with bizo's moms. i have eaten sugar cane for the first time. i have made friends. i have gained new passion. i have been lonely. i have endured.

when i arrived in png 8 months ago, i didn't think i could endure. here i am.

we came to png to explore the possibility of returning in the future, to figure out if there were business opportunities for bizo, to see if God might have work for us to do here, to see if I could...if I would endure. we haven't decided anything definitive about coming back here in the future. we've talked a lot. dreamed a lot. questioned a lot. bizo said the other day that we aren't going to talk about coming back here anymore until we get back to the states, till i've had time to be home, to soak in all the familiarities and to have some distance from this experience. it's a whole big lot of stuff to consider...a whole lot to give up... a whole lot to gain.

for now, what i know, is that i have endured the last 10 months- and that is where i will rest for now.

jesus thanks for being so close. thanks for keeping me warm and fed and safe and loved in a very different place. thank you for my baby. thank you for an amazing partner. thank you for holding me up through family and friends from far away. thanks for packages. thanks for being big. thanks for having vision and letting me be a part of it. thanks for revelation 12. thanks for sara groves. thanks for pregnant clothes. thanks for kudjip. thanks for the ocean. thanks for cowboy. thanks for a million meals at other people's houses. thanks for freedom. thanks for america. thanks for kosoroka. thanks for bilas.

It's a BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-05-07T01:26:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the world Alexander Momoto Sogavo! He was born on Saturday, April 28th at 5:19am. He is 7lbs 5oz., 21 inches long. He's got lots of black hair and the cutest smile ever. We are in love!

It's a BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-05-07T00:10:00.000-07:00

blood on Bizo's arm from cutting the cord

a proud new mama with baby Alex

We flew home to Goroka with Alex on a 206 on the Tuesday after he was born... I was a little nervous bringing my new 4 day old son home on a tiny airplane, but the ride proved fun and exciting and safe.
this is how people in png carry their babies...Topiso (Bizo's mom) made this billum just for Alex. This was our first venture out of the house after returning to Goroka..yes, the baby is inside the billum in this pic.

Mom, Alex, Mama Jen and our work meri and friend Janet. Janet cleans our house once a week.

Alexander Momoto Sogavo :)
Daddy giving Alex his first bath at home.

Bizo with his dad Sogavo and baby Alex
Isn't he precious??!!

Michelle and Rhonda were able to come to kudjip as my pseudo family and friends to support me in labor...they were awesome... i was so thankful they were there

Hi Grandma Marji! I am swedish afterall :)

guest house at kudjip

last prego picture
leaving for kudjip

Dr.Bill McCoy who delivered Alex....what an amazing doctor...

This one's for you Auntie Lisa and Uncle Nate! Alex loves you
The Labor and Delivery "Team"...couldn't have asked for a better support sytem...God is so good

bringing a child into the world

2007-04-23T00:35:00.000-07:00

http://www.christianitytoday.com/tcw/2006/002/1.18.html

there's a lot to be said for all the physical changes that take place during pregnancy. There's even more to be said about the emotional changes that take place, perhaps especially with a first child. Knowing that there's a little life living inside my body, soon to come out and grow up to be a real human adult is scary and amazing. The amazing part is being entrusted with such a gift, such a thing of beauty... the scary part is knowing all the ways in which this life is hard, knowing all the questions that hover in my own heart and in the hearts of people I love, knowing that at every given moment this world is filled with lots of beauty and opportunity and lots of junk and pain, and I can't control much of it for myself or my husband let alone my child...

Wrestling through my own fears about becoming a mommy, wanting to do things well, to do things right... I found this interview with Sara Groves, my fav girl musician about her own entering motherhood fears. While the questions are a bit cheesy and I would have just liked to sit and have coffee with Sara myself, the interview was a good snapshot into her struggle and helped bring me back to a place where I can continue to question and not flip out all at the same time... It reminded me that this place of doubt, questions, not knowing...it is such a great place to be. It is where we are raw and un-edited with God. It is where we ask our questions and we walk with God through them. It is where God gets to love us amidst our fear and bitterness and the unknown. Check out the article, and listen to Sara: she's the best.

He is Risen- Happy Easter

2007-04-23T00:01:00.000-07:00

This is us on Easter Sunday. The mission base invited the Nationals from the village church over for worship which was nice. That meant we got to worship with Bizo's family and our missionary friends together. I absolutely love singing in pidgin and am excited to teach our kids pidgin songs. We had dinner with friends on the mission base and sat and talked late into the evening. We played Settlers of Catan and drank yummy coffee. It was the next best thing to being with family in the states.

answer to prayer

2007-03-26T02:02:00.000-07:00

Thanks so much for praying that our baby would turn! We had an ultra sound last week and our prayers have been answered...we were prepared either way, but we're so thankful that the babe did in fact turn in the right direction and is no longer breech...The doc was quite skeptical and thought it was pretty amazing....really cool. 25 days till we leave for the nazarene hospital to await the arrival of the little dot. thanks for all your continued prayers! We'll be posting pictures of the little one as soon as humanly possible! Love you all and miss you all lots!!!!!!!!!

MOre PIctures

2007-03-26T01:48:00.000-07:00

Here's another belly shot- this is towards the end of February, so 7 months ish... Nate, do you recognize this truck??
Here's another belly shot around the same time :)
This is the path from our house to the store where Bizo works that I walk almost every day. It runs along the only major highway in the country- the Highlands Highway. We don't have a view of the mountains from our house as we are down in the valley, but I often walk up to the mission base across the street where you can see mountains on all sides- it's beautiful.
Here's a pic of Sogavo (Bizo's dad), Topiso (Bizo's mom), Boo-Boo (Bizo's grandma), and Bizo. Boo-Boo means grandparent or grandbaby. This picture was taken inside Topiso's house.
This is some of Bizo's siblings:
L to R:
Evelyn
Umerix
Kristi
Lucy
Vauname

We drove them into town one afternoon and all went swimming at the local hotel, the Bird.

BREECH BABY

2007-03-05T21:49:00.000-08:00

and so the adventure continues in png... We had another ultra sound at the mission clinic this morning and to our dismay our baby is still sitting breech in my tummy, butt down. We've got everyone praying that the little dot will turn in time, but it's getting close and I'm fearful that I'll have to have a c-section if that's the case. I realize some women might be excited about that, but I'd prefer to have the opportunity to deliver naturally... we would love your prayers for the baby to turn!
On a good note, the baby is healthy and measuring right on schedule with a strong heartbeat and good strong kicks and flips all the time. I told Bizo last night that I feel like I have a bowling ball in my tummy, it has gotten so heavy. Other than the usual prego aches and pains, I am feeling good and excited to get this little human out! Baby moves a lot when I sing which is very cute. Daddy likes to read stories to the little dot in utero laying by my tummy hoping he/she can hear. He is anxious to play with this baby and show him off... We both think it is a boy although I am not truly convinced and have no specific inkling either way. My sister had a dream that it was a girl and now she and my mom are insisting it is a girl... We have names picked out but are holding out and not telling a soul until the baby is here, not even mom. Mom is dying to know, but is gracious enough to let us keep it top secret. thanks mom. Bizo's family is all anxious to see the baby too. I am just about 32 weeks along so I have about 8 weeks to go...give or take depending on if I am early or late...we shall see! We have more belly shots to upload eventually. We leave on April 20th to drive up to a Nazarene Mission Hospital 3 hours from here where I will deliver the baby. we would love your prayers for safety as we travel and of course for a healthy baby and safe delivery... we will upload pictures of this baby as soon as humanly possible. we love you all and miss you and are so looking forward to coming home!!!!!

As if the week could get any worse...

2007-03-05T21:22:00.000-08:00

Less than a week after Bizo's car accident, our little puppy Cowboy was hit on the highway and killed. We had left her in our gated yard for the afternoon to play with the other 2 dogs that live around our property - "Houseboy" and "Rusty". Cowboy knew how to crawl under the fence and knew the route (2 blocks) to the store where Bizo is working so if she wanted to get out she could. She has done this a million times by herself though and we thought she was wise enough to be left alone...some local school kids found her laying in the road and carried her down to the store to Bizo...Her hind leg was very swollen and it looked like she had been hit the hardest there... Bizo watched her lay at the store for quite a long time to watch for any sign of life...but there was none. I got to see her before we buried her... I sobbed all afternoon and night. I've always loved animals, but never understood people's love for their own pets fully until now. She was so little, like a baby. I felt so guilty for leaving her at home by herself, she just wasn't old enough to know not to run in the road... We miss her so much and ache to do something to change what happened...but we can't.

Ode to Cowboy
we miss you little baby puppy
we miss putting you in your corral at night to sleep
we miss filling your orange bowls with sausages and chicken bones
we miss cuddling with you and watching movies
we miss playing with you and letting you bite our fingers
we miss your eyes and your stretchy legs while you sleep
we miss your whimper when you first learned how to climb the stairs

you used to pee when we came home out of sheer excitement
you used to kill gross bugs for me when Bizo wasn't home to do it
you would follow us everywhere and listen when we called
we loved how you ran ahead of us and then would always stop and wait until we caught up
Bizo loved bringing you to the store to sleep and play under his feet
I loved hanging out with you while I was making dinner
you kept me company in the lonely hours

we remember the time you jumped off the back of the truck and skinned your chin and
whimpered
i was so scared we had run over you and i cried while I cuddled you
and how cold you got when we gave you baths even in the sun
you were just starting to get used to the water and not shiver as much

you were like a pre-cursor to our real baby that's coming soon
we had to teach you things and discipline you and love on you
and we miss all those things about you

now we have an empty doghouse "Cowboy's Corral" that reminds us of your absence when we come home
and empty orange bowls and half-torn sandals and a gate we don't need anymore
houseboy and rusty don't have food to steal anymore or a little pup to play around with

we're so sad you got hurt and we'd do anything we could to change it and save you
we're so sorry that it happened

we love you little baby cowboy
we'll always remember you and never be the same without you

Bizo's Accident

2007-03-05T20:47:00.000-08:00

Last Friday, Bizo was in a terrible car accident. I was hanging out with a friend on the mission base and he was driving to town with his brother and village friend. It is the PNG way to walk on the road, and often times walk in the middle of the road. Unfortunately, the road is also a highway, the only highway that runs throughout the country. It is said to be the most dangerous highway in the world...cool. That evening, there were a handful of drunk guys standing in the road and Bizo was forced to swerve in order to not hit them. (Another cultural note: When you are in an accident in PNG, even if it is the other person's fault, they will fight you for compensation for damages or injuries...So if Bizo were to hit someone on the road- even if they are standing IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD- he would be required to pay them to compensate for any injuries or damages. Same is true if you hit someone else's pig or animal- and get caught doing it- regardless of whether or not the animal should have been kept within a fence- you are always at fault and must pay for the animal(s). The thinking is extremely backwards. I can just imagine the nightmare american insurance agents would have trying to deal with some of the claims here in png...) He was driving his mom's truck which flipped possibly a few times when he swerved. There are deep ditches on either side of the highway and the wheel must have caught on the edge to make it flip. Bizo was wearing his seat belt which probably saved his life. His entire side of the cab was smashed in. He was knocked unconcious and had to be pulled from the truck. His brother Gohuse was able to crawl out with no injuries. The friend in the back of the truck bed also made it out with bruised and cut hands only. Meanwhile, I was waiting for Bizo to pick me up and was beside myself having no idea where he was or what happened with no way to get a hold of him... The guys waited at the scene of the accident for Bizo's brother's wife to come down and drive them to the Goroka Housesick (Hospital). Someone had to walk a good ways up to his brother's house to go and get them and let them know about the accident...this is the land of no cell phones and no house phones folks...Bizo was coming to conciousness on the way in to town to the hospital. They kept them there for observation until 7am. Bizo had a real good gash on his head with a big goose egg. His shoulders and neck were real sore and he had cuts and bruises on one of his shoulders. It's amazing that he is alive and wasn't hurt worse. I was finally reunited with him around 8am the next morning after spending the entire night anxious and praying that he was ok...not knowing what happened. It was a rough week to say the least, but we have both been thanking God so much that Bizo is ok and have decided not to drive on the highway past 9pm because there's nowhere to go anyway and it's just not worth it...God has used the accident to bring us closer together and make us stronger marital allies and we're really thankful for that. We had to have a "family meeting" with his parents to discuss the accident and paying for the truck- the meeting went very well and we are working out the details. Thanks for your prayers as we continue to "recover" together.

THE BEARS

2007-02-03T22:10:00.000-08:00

This is Bizo watching the Superbowl game at the local restaurant, the Bird. He was so excited!! Too bad they lost...he wasn't smiling by the end of the game.

It's Sunday, February 4th... Tomorrow the Superbowl will air and we are still unsure if we'll be able to see it. There's a group of us headed into town to the Bird of Paradise Hotel where we've heard it rumored that the game will be aired. Bizo is very sad that he is not in Chicago for such a time as this... I am sad too, but he is more sad. He's also quite bummed that he has no bears paraphanalia to sport here in Goroka to show his loyalty... sigh... oh well. So, here's to the Bears and the great Chicagoland area - GO BEARS!!!! We're rooting for you from an island in the Pacific, hoping with all our hearts that you take the victory.

Mexican Night at Pacific Gardens & more

2007-02-01T23:43:00.000-08:00

Lyle and Michelle VanKlompenberg, Rhonda & Stu Hunter and Bizo and I at Pacific Gardens. They had a mexican night so we all jumped at the chance to have some decent mexican food. VanK's and Hunter's are associate (short-term) missionaries for New Tribes and live across the street from us. They have been wonderful friends in this transition and so generous in helping us with whatever we need in adjusting.
Here's another sort of belly pic with Rhonda and Michelle. These are amazing women- I admire their courage to come here and serve and I have learned a lot from them- including lots of cooking tips! Rhonda and Stu are finishing up 4 years here in PNG heading back to Waukesha Wisconsin area in June. Michelle and Lyle just arrived several months ago for a 4 year term.
Michelle and Rhonda and I at Skate Night on Base. They served hamburgers and fries and all the MK's skated in circles in the gym. It was very entertaining.
Topiso eating on our porch with Jasmine and Aminea. Jasmine is Bizo's neice (her mom is Loisy) and Aminea is Bizo's sister. Mama Jen looks after Aminea.
BIzo and his neice Jennifer on her 1 year birthday. I made cake and cupcakes and her mom Gorometo had a big birthday party for her. Jennifer usually cries when I pull out the camera- this time she just stared while she yanked on Bizo's nose.

Cowboy our new puppy

2007-02-01T23:39:00.000-08:00

Here she is- 7 weeks old now. She likes to bite and play all the time. she is not potty trained yet.

Cowboy's very first bath. she shook the whole time and was scared of the water. but she looks so cute all soaped up!

New Pictures

2007-02-01T23:00:00.000-08:00

Bizo and Brandon after a basketball game on the mission base. Brandon, Rachel, Breanna, and Brady Buser. Busers were at Lapilo to do some orientation stuff. Brandon and Bizo grew up together going to school at the mission base. Brandon and family are missionaries in the Sepik region of PNG, awaiting to eventually settle in a tribe where they will learn the language and eventually share the gospel. We had tons of fun catching up with them.
This was the first package mom and dad sent from home- THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here's the sign for the local village church that we go to. Sios means church. The church is just 2 blocks down from our house, but they are building a new church even closer to where we live. The structure has been built, but the congregation was waiting for more funds to finish it. Last Sunday they announced they had recieved 800 Kina from some missionaries to complete the building- they are very excited!
This is me and Janet. Janet is our "work meri" which means work woman. She cleans our house and does our laundry for us which is wonderful. It feels very weird to have someone cleaning my house, so I try to help her even though we pay her :). I usually make lunch for us and sit and talk with her midday- she comes every wednesday. Janet is very shy but I love talking to her and learning more pidgin through her.

"The Belly Shot" everyone has been asking for

2007-02-01T22:52:00.000-08:00

Everyone has been asking for the famous belly shot, so here it is. We promise to publish more as my stomach gets even bigger- is that possible?!? This was taken at the nicest restaurant in town, Pacific Gardens. There is a rushing river right next door with a cool path and little huts to sit and enjoy the scenery. Bizo took me out to dinner to celebrate 6 months of pregnancy! We had steak and enjoyed a wonderful evening.

Missing Home

2007-02-01T22:30:00.000-08:00

Today is friday. I just tried calling home to wish my dad a happy birthday, but did not get through. I feel bummed and sad and disconnected. I am at my friend Rhonda's house and she made a frozen frappucino for me which is making me feel slightly better. We have tons of new pictures to upload to the blog. I read a book this morning entitled "nice girls don't change the world" by Lynne Hybels. If you haven't read it, you should. I'm sure I'll write another entry about that eventually. I don't have the energy right now. My mom and dad sent the book in a huge package the other day... full of amazing goodies. we ate macaroni n cheese last night for the first time in 2 months- it was awesome. they also sent normal mayonaise (the mayo here is gross) and tons of movies and a cool scrapbook kit for pictures of the baby. Grandma Elsie and Nannie went in on that- so thanks Gram and Nannie- The package was awesome!!

The baby was kicking like crazy last night you would have thought there was a soccer game going on inside my tummy...Bizo was in awe. Gets more and more real as my tummy grows bigger and heavier and as the baby's kicks are stronger and more pronounced.

we have a little puppy! She is darling- a mut, we're not sure what breeds exactly. She is about 7 weeks old- BIzo's brother's dog had 5 puppies and we decided to take one. We named her Cowboy. Check out the pics. We are keeping her as an outside dog- BIzo built a little wooden doghouse for her. She keeps me company when BIzo is working at the store and that is fun. She likes to bite a lot. We tell her that she has an american dog friend named Chili in the states and that maybe someday she can meet her.

anyway, that's all the news for this post.

PACKAGES!

2007-01-13T00:03:00.000-08:00

We recently recieved 3 very fun packages and I wanted to brag about those who sent them: My mom...sent wonderful christmas gifts, candy, food...the works. IT was the BEST EVER. Lisa Jarot, my dear dear friend, sent the most creative and fun package with blank scrapbook pages for us to fill a book together along with a journal to track daily life in PNG so she doesn't miss out... and of course Jolly Ranchers! I've been journaling almost every day my friend and I have 3 pages done for the scrapbook- I LOVE IT! and last, my amazing friend Kelly Skiles sent a stupendous package as well full of chocolate!!!!! JOlly Ranchers!!!!!!! nail polish... Phase 10 and the cutest card ever for christmas.... My mom sent Jolly Ranchers too- I guess my family and friends know me well!

THANK YOU FOR THE PACKAGES!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY WERE AMAZING and made me not so sad to miss all of you soo much. Keep em comin friends. We've got a contest going- who can send the best package? :)

Saturday in PNG

2007-01-12T23:39:00.000-08:00

It is Saturday in PNG. Bizo is working down at his parents store, the Lapilo Highway Misa. He is cleaning out an old office and setting up a new printer. He has been working on cleaning up financial records and payroll and trying to bring in new business to build up the store. I went and hung out at the store with him and am now up on the mission base at our friends house, Rhonda and Stu doing email and blog editing. We are planning to go up to the hospital where we are hoping to deliver the baby to take a tour and meet doctors later this week. It is a 4-5 hour drive further up into the mountains and roads can be tricky, so please pray for safety. I am leading a bible study/small group with Bizo's sisters on Sunday nights, so I'll prepare for that tomorrow afternoon. Last night Bizo took me out to dinner to one of 3 restaurants in town called the Pacific Gardens Hotel Restaurant. We had steak and enjoyed a lovely evening together. The baby is kicking like crazy all the time... so much that it makes me laugh out loud at night when I am trying to go to sleep. Funny and exciting. That's a snapshot of today. Always missing home, family, and friends. Love you all!

Random Pictures

2007-01-12T23:31:00.000-08:00

Bizo in his mom, Topiso's yard with nieces and newphews and villagers. Next pic is Bizo and I after church one sunday.

This is Jeremy Slain on the left Bizo's uncle Slain's little boy. Bizo grew up with Slain so he is more like a brother to him. The girl on the left is one of Bizo's dad's (Sogavo) kids, Aminea. She is a spitfire and always causes trouble. Mama Jen looks after her. Next pic is of 3 of Bizo's sisters. From L to R: Fay, Kristy, and Vauname. They are sitting in the bed of our truck on a ride into town.

This last picture is Sogavo (bizo's dad) eating breakfast at our house one morning. He was sick so he came over all bundled up in his cozy red gear. He is very cute and funny.

Our house

2007-01-12T23:09:00.000-08:00

Here's the outside of our house. We live in the top portion. These are the stairs leading up to our place. We have a little porch to sit on and listen to the friendly rooster cock a doodle doo all day long.
Here's Bizo cooking breakfast in our tiny kitchen. When the power goes out, we light candles and cook and wash dishes in the dark... can you say romantic? :)
Here's a half shot of our bedroom- not much else to it besides closet space and another window. The drapes are plastic with blue flowers :). My kind of style.
Here's our bathroom- standard toilet, shower, and sink. The water often stops mid-shower for a minute or so. We make up songs about "when the water goes out in PNG" to the tune of Journey's "When the lights go down in the city..." song. Note about the toilets: you flush by pushing a button on the top of the toilet- you have two options: half flush or full flush and can push the flush button as long as you want. Toilets never clog in PNG because of this. nice perk.

Welcome Home Ceremony

2007-01-12T22:56:00.000-08:00

Traveling to/Arriving in PNG

2007-01-12T22:42:00.000-08:00

Leaving the Australia airport for PNG

2007-01-12T22:22:00.000-08:00

Hooray! I finally got pictures to work! This is all our luggage... we got lots of funny looks walking through the airports. We spent 2 days in Brisbane, Australia in between flights to PNG. We got to hang out at the Gold Coast on the beach for a day which was great. Lots to see and do and the ocean is beautiful!

No photos yet

2006-12-26T22:49:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to upload photos to our blog for the last 3 hours to no avail...I will have to give up for now and try again another time. I'm convinced there's a little man in PNG who pushes a "SLOW" button all day long, slowing the various daily activites of all people living in PNG, creating great irritation and lack of productivity. (That's why it takes 30 PNG construction workers to fix 1 highway pot hole in 1 day.) Sorry for the construction- stay tuned for exciting images to come. (I'll try to get one of the construction workers working very slowly!)

Arriving in PNG

2006-12-26T20:36:00.004-08:00

We are finally up and running with the promised blog. Hope everyone will enjoy keeping up with our crazy adventure to New Guinea. We're excited to share our experience with family and friends- helps us feel like we're still connected, though so far away. And this way I won't send out lots of annoying mass emails and you can do what you will with viewing and reading this blog at your leisure.

Mom brought Bizo and I to the airport on November 13th. It was the hardest goodbye I've ever had to endure. I've always liked to think of myself as an adventurist, but somehow this goodbye was different from all the others, knowing the trip was going to be the longest and the farthest away from home and community I'd ever taken. Mom, Dad, Jodi, Jeremy, and Jackie: thanks for all of your support for this venture. I know none of you were excited about the idea of us being gone for so long and so far away and it means the world to us both that we have you supporting us and celebrating the opportunity with us. We love you so much. The same goes to our extended family and many friends who sent us off with such great wishes and prayers. It was so fun to see all of you before we left- thanks for coming out to say goodbye and thanks for the many cards and gifts! We felt so loved and upheld!!

We flew to LA and then to Brisbane, Australia. We rented a car in Brisbane and stayed at a hotel there for 2 nights awaiting our flight out to Port Moresby, the capitol of PNG. Renting a car in Aussie was the first adventure. They drive on the wrong side of the road! :) I knew this going, but it's always funny when you first get in the car and start to go. Bizo drove- we almost died once. After that mishap, we took the advice of the hotel owner who said to always recite the reminder before starting the car: Passenger always stays on the curb. So we drove around Australia for 2 days repeating the phrase over and over. Actually, I was the one repeating it, just in case Bizo needed the reminder. We got some good sleep in Australia, had some yummy calzones at a local pizza place, ate breakfast at McDonalds because Australia doesn't believe in restaurants being open for breakfast, and visited the Gold Coast for a day. The Gold Coast was beautiful. I sat on the sand and soaked in the sun while Bizo splashed around in the ocean. It was a little chilly, so I opted not to get in the water. We ate Fish and Chips at a little restaurant and walked around the myriad of shops and touristy places. It was really nice to take a break from being on the plane for so long and nice to have some downtime together before heading into the very different world of Papua New Guinea.

Back at the airport on our way to Port Moresby now, we were not so happy to hear the airline ticket agent say we would have to pay an extra $1500 for our "extra baggage". Luckily, there was a cheaper solution and we were able to send a few bags as "unaccompanied baggage" for only $500. What a joy. We sent the bags off and hoped they would arrive in Goroka within a few days after our arrival there...which they did! They were completely intact, nothing stolen or damaged. We were thankful.

We flew to Port Moresby where we had just about an hour to move through the ticket line and board our plane to Goroka. I changed into my "meri blaus" (traditional PNG outfit worn by married women in New Guinea) at the airport- We had decided this would be an appropriate way for me to arrive to greet his family for the first time. The meri blaus is not my favorite that's for sure, but it is fairly comfortable and I knew going into this venture that I was going to have to be flexible enough to accept some of the cultural norms of Bizo's family, however strange they may be to me. Going through security was crazy. A bunch of locals had been given misinformation about their flight being cancelled and then reopened. Just as Bizo and I were beginning to place our bags on the belt to be scanned, this crowd stuffed their way into the small security area yelling and pushing their way through to try and bypass the security checkpoint. I dashed a very fearful and "I don't know what to do!" look at my husband trying to keep my balance and protect my pregnant belly from the clamoring. Welcome to PNG...We eventually got in front of the crazy crowd and got through security and we were fine, but it was a scary intro. As we joined a line to board our plane, the power went out. Little did I know this would be a daily occurence in our little house in Goroka. This meant the screens with flight information (there are only 2 screens in 1 waiting room) went blank. Everyone was speaking pidgin of course, so I had no idea what was going on, other than lots of chaos. I just clung to Bizo and followed his lead. We thought we were going to miss our flight. Eventually we jumped ahead in line and they ushered us outside to be sure we could catch the flight. There was our plane, waiting...small as can be. I don't know what kind of plane it was, but it was small and so hot that there was condensation dripping down the walls on the inside of the plane. The plane was half full when we got there, so we figured we might not leave for awhile, despite the indicated departure time. It was definitely smelly on the plane and Bizo had warned me of this: the smells of PNG. Most PNG people don't wear deodorant and some may not have access to bathing other than in the river. Almost all PNG people work daily in their gardens while some have jobs in town in offices, etc. You can imagine the kind of sweat they produce in the South Pacific hot weather :). But I had been warned, so that was good. Apparently even the American missionary kids who grew up here don't bat an eye about things like the smell, because they grew up with it, so it's very normal to them. But to a newbie like me, whew....something to get used to that's for sure! (Just for the record my husband knows I'm writing about our experiences and he isn't offended by these things. He also wears exceptionally good smelling deodorant and is part of the small fraction of PNG folks that does not smell a little funky.)

Sidenote: The baby is kicking like CRAZY while I write this post! That one's for you mom and grandmas.

We eventually take off on our hour ride into the highlands of PNG. Bizo's town, Goroka, is located in the Eastern Highlands Province of PNG. His family actually lives about 20 minutes from the town of Goroka, right off the main highway in a village called Lapilo. Across the street from his family's homes is the New Tribes Mission support base. As we neared Goroka and you could see villages from the window, Bizo began to cry. He was so excited to be home. I cried with him and we said thankful prayers for the opportunity, finally, for us to be here, home for Bizo. Bizo got out of the plane first and kissed the ground beneath him. It was such a sweet thing for him to have finally arrived. He took pics of me getting off the plane in my cute meri blaus and we headed for the gate. Sogavo (Bizo's dad) somehow got inside the gate while the rest of the family waited outside for us. He greeted us with a big smile and hugs and kisses. We waited for our luggage to be brought over to a long old table where we claimed it and were off.

I forgot to mention that while waiting to take off on the plane, we were greeted by some NTM missionaries who had just been in Thailand with Paul and Paula Jarot. They recognized us from our wedding picture and had heard about our adventure from P & P. It was so nice to be greeted by some American faces, a reminder that while I was definitely entering an entirely different world, there would still be faces like mine here and there to identify with. It put me at ease. They are missionaries at Sobega (spelling?), another village area up the road from the Lapilo mission base. They work with orientating new missionaries to the field before sending them out. Bizo and I are planning to visit there soon.

Tons of Bizo's older brothers and sisters as well as his parents and a few village folks were at the airport to greet us. There were tears and hugs after hugs after hugs. I wish now I could go back and see their faces again, because at the time I didn't know who they all were. Now I'm familiar with their faces and know them all by name and how they fit into the large family tree. They had two trucks waiting for us, one with an American flag waving on the front and the other with a PNG flag waving along with Balloons and a large "WELCOME HOME" sign. There were tons of local villagers there too, just to see what all the fuss was about. It was quite the welcome!

We were both so happy, my cheeks hurt from smiling. We couldn't believe we were actually here. No seatbelts in the car- we all piled in. The front window of Sogavo's large truck was completely shattered, still in tact, but shattered like a big rock had hit it. He had been in an accident awhile back and had been trying to get it fixed, but for whatever reason, hadn't yet. He drove extremely fast and I was overwhelmed by the people and seeing the town for the first time. I'll write another post all about town later. It deserves it's own entry.

We arrived at a gate where TONS more children and people had gathered to greet us. They opened a Large Iron Gate with another Welcome Home sign on it as we stepped in to follow the dressed up dancers. They had "planti bilas" (decoration/dressed up) going on. They were dancing and clapping and shouting and chanting as they led us down a long pathway through the trees. They had decorated the path with large beautiful fresh flowers and hanging bananas. The trees were so tall and sweeping, it totally felt like we were on an island in the show Survivor. That's exactly what it looked like and felt like to me. Of course, we are on an island and one not too far from lots of the Survivor locations I'm sure. Two of Bizo's nieces/nephews held our hands and led us behind the dancers as they dropped fresh flowers at our feet for the entire path. They put Hawaiian lee's (spelling) around our necks and cheered for us! We felt like King and Queen! They led us through another gate where there was a large tarp set up with a light (it was dark by then) and tons more people waiting. There was a sound system set up with a microphone and speakers as well as a cd player. All of Bizo's nieces and nephews were dressed in the same outfits and lined up to sing 2 songs for us in English. They were all about welcoming us into the family and welcoming us home. Nadia, Bizo's second oldest brother, Momoto's, daughter, sang a solo and cried she was so happy to see us and meet us! It was the cutest thing ever. Sogavo spoke for a long time about how happy he was that Bizo had married an American woman and that we were now here to be with his family for a time. The village Judge spoke exuberantly, jumping up and down, again telling everyone how happy he was to see us here. Bizo's uncle, Nathan, also spoke. the village pastor, Oleofa, also spoke and prayed a blessing for us and for the food. We did a recieving line and stood and hugged family members for probably 45 minutes to an hour. At one point Bizo's grandma, (Topiso's mother) was crying so loudly that she interrupted the program and everyone was telling her to be quiet. The kids had to start one of their songs over again for fear we missed some of it during the grandmother's wailing. I was also starving at that point and had to coach myself through not throwing up as I took in the many smells of the villagers. Being pregnant definitely adds an exciting dynamic to experiencing a new and very different culture- good times! Eventually, Bizo's brothers and sisters brought us into what would be our home for the next 10 months away from the crowd. They fed us and let us relax and rest up. They had prepared an entire upstairs house for us with kitchen, bathroom, 3 bedrooms, and living room area. It was so much nicer than what I had expected and our very own space at that! I had expected to be living with Bizo's mom and siblings. What a blessing to have an oasis of our own during this new experience that would sometimes be trying and challenging.

That is the story of our arrival in PNG... and it's just the beginning. I have so many more stories to tell and we've only been here for 2 months. Look for more posts and pictures coming soon! Thanks for visiting!